Welcome to Wicked Gnomes

I originally made a range of alternative gnomes many years ago, when I lived next door to the neighbor from Hell. The miserable old git was the sort of bloke who would go and tell a Hearse to move if it parked outside his house (really) Every year when the fear of frosts had past, the old git would take his gnomes from the safety of the green house and tastelessly arrange them around this naff little blue pond. As part of the war against the miserable old bastard the Wicked Gnomes were born. Tastefully arranged to be pointing in his direction; Mooning, Flashing, Defecating, along with various dead and decomposing gnomes.

"On a nice hot day, I use to love to get the BBQ and the garden chairs out, which would send the ol'bastard in to a rage. He'd go in the house and slam all his windows, moaning that "the gypsies were eating in the garden again!" Once he'd slammed his last window and hobbled back downstairs to the garden, I'd put it all away again. It sounds mean but he really did deserve it."

The Originals

Sadly many of my original clay gnomes have since perished over the Winters but fear not for I am now creating new gnomes and casting limited editions in concrete.
Watch this space as I'm always working on new stuff .
(See Greenmen & Dragons)

Testimonial

Dr Hugh Cronos, a representative from the Society for Time Travelers, est. 2334, who recently traveled back to this decade, quoted "The Wicked Gnomes have been very collectable over the last 2 hundred years and this is the time to buy one for your descendants. In the future the early concrete gnomes are more valuable than the ones from the 22nd century, made from a substitute biodegradable concrete. The 21st century gnomes were far less perishable thanks to the added frost proofer"

No:1 NIKEY.

The down trodden gnome. Dirty trainer imprint and a dribble of blood from the mouth give this lovable chap a charm all of his own.

No: 2 BIKEY

Dirty bike tyre prints and a dribble blood from mouth and nose give this little fellow special appeal to cyclists and psychopaths.

No:3 DUMPY

The cute adorable gnome who's having a shit.

This cute adorable chap comes with bulging tongue and a dribble of blood and from mouth and nose, plus dirty car tyre marks. Ideal for gnome hating motorists.

No:5 HOLY GNOME

The gnome with hole in the middle, with bloody entrails. The hole can used for optional props; pitch fork, arrow, bamboo cane, knife, etc.